I'm Having An Affair...With My Bathroom Scale

What's In A Horoscope?

2008-10-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

Pisces
2/19 – 3/20
Overview
Today, starting something new should only happen if you've got all the evidence you need to feel confident about it. Do not get involved with stuff you are unsure of, no matter how tantalizing or exciting it might seem. Taking risks right now is not advised. Load up on the skepticism and apply it liberally to any 'great' new opportunity that comes your way. And remember that the harder someone pushes you to join in, the more likely it is that they have ulterior motives.

Are You Serious???

2008-09-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

I recently joined the local "fitness club" in my area. Good for me! Getting me to go now, that's a different story. Some think I am weird, but just knowing that I am paying a monthly membership fee to the gym, while I sit on my ass at home, makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. (That could just be my feather comforter) The way I see it, I am helping them pay for the storage space on the equipment I would never ever bring into my house. Maybe one day I will make it down there and walk on a treadmill for a minute or two. There is a point to my story. Today I was looking around online, and I found this. Now I realize I don't make my way to the gym very often, but I was there to sign the contract of death, and I surely don't remember anything like this. If there was, I may actually show up, just to ride the escalator. I am upset now because my gym does not offer the amenity! I think I got ripped off!

Feel Good Thought For Today

2008-09-22T21:15:00.000-07:00

When you feel that nobody loves you,

Nobody cares for you,

And everyone is ignoring you,

You should start asking yourself...

Am I just TOO sexy?

Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes

2008-09-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

Lets face it. It's something we all do. Change I mean. Really think about it. We change for the good, and we change for the bad. We change because we want to, and because we feel we have to. We change for friends, family, a boss, a significant other and even a prospect on a distant horizon.

I like to call it the 6 month rule of change. Stupid name I know, but I unfortunately cant not come up with something more witty. The gist of the 6 month rule of change is that it takes approximately 6 months for someone to become comfortable in their current situation to let themselves go a little. Take the last time you started a new job. You show up to work every day on time, bright eyed and bushy tailed. (Where the hell did this saying come from anyway?) You never miss a day of work. You are eager to complete each and every task assigned to you, and you happily oblige when you are asked to take on more work. But something happens when that 6th month is over. Probation period ends. *Cough Cough* Everything changes. You begin calling in sick when you are sick and coming in late because you overslept, and no one views you as the sub human G.I Joe they used to. Vacation time is yours to take. You have your daughters softball practice and your sons football games to get to, so your work sits on your desk until tomorrow. All of a sudden, you are gone from work more often than you are really there. (I am exaggerating here OBVIOUSLY!) And you start to pipe up a little more too. You voice your opinions regardless of how well they will be accepted. No more tip toeing around this office.

Just thinking about it makes me laugh. I find it amusing. The mere thought that if we actually showed up to work our very first day as ourselves would leave most of us indefinitely unemployed. I am no exception to this rule. Believe you me. I have the 6 month rule of change down pat. To the day I tell ya.

My thought process today was brought on by a conversation I had yesterday with a dear friend of mine... M. We were discussing relationships and I was saying things always change. When the honeymoon is over, its over. She stands on a very firm belief that it doesn't have to be this way. That things don't have to change. That the honey moon can last forever. I of course disagree. Mostly because I have been down this road a few too many times. Yeah, I too have the T-shirt! But really when I think about it from my own point of view, I am just not sure its possible. Can you really look past the annoying little habits your mate may say or do on a daily basis for the rest of your life without it ever getting on your very last nerve. You know, that thing he/she does in the shower, or right before bed, that at one time you thought was cute but now you could just smother him/her with the very pillow you sleep on if you have to see them do it one more time!!! My vote is no. Not that you would really smother them. Just pointing out the obvious fact that things change. People put on a charade that they can not carry on forever. I am sure my obsession with shoes, though quite cute at the beginning will weigh on anyone's last nerve, and their wallet. And who's to say if there is a happy ending in site? Some make it and I offer them my most sincere congratulations. And then some don't. But I wont be offering you any pity. We all jump back on that horse and try again, just a little more cautious, and a little more aware, that whether we like it or not... Things do always change.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-09-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Just Another Day In Paradise

2008-09-16T11:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just had one of those days??? You know the ones I am talking about. The one where you get the rock star parking spot at the grocery store, the 10 items or less line takes you, even though you have a cart full, and the extremely long line at the in store bank branch parts and allows you to go first because they can tell you are in a hurry! And then you reach into your pocket to get your keys and realize, you forgot to put your pants on before you left the house! Yeah!!! One of THOSE days! I just want to go back to bed now!

Waiting For The Walk

2008-09-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

I know we have all done it. Most of us have even done it more than once. But to the impatient lady at the crosswalk of the busiest intersection in town, GET A FRICKEN LIFE!!! I promise you, you are not that important! What on earth would posses you to push the walk button that many times? I would love to know what you are thinking. Do they need to post rules on the walk buttons now?

Push button one time.Wait for the word WALK to appear.Walk across the street.

Pushing the button over and over again does not make a bit of difference. The walk sign will appear when the traffic lights change. No sooner than that! You are not tricking the light! Pushing the button 100 times does not make it think that there are 100 people waiting to cross. Nor does it think that you are in a really big hurry so it better change now. You can not fake out the light by pushing the walk button to go both ways. It knows you only want to cross one way. It knows this is driving you crazy. It will just make you wait. Ahhhh yes, keep pushing the button! Its not helping though is it? The only thing you have accomplished is the laughter in my car and the many other cars waiting at the light. Yes, we are laughing at you! So is the person who reviews the tapes of the camera at the top of the lights designed to catch those who break the law! With out you, their day may have been quite boring. But I guarantee you, they are laughing too.On a brighter note, I have to give you props. At least you are out in the unusually warm weather getting some sort of exercise while I sit on my lazy bum in my nice cool air conditioned car! Kudos for you!Word to the wise! When you get to the cross walk, and you press the button. Once is all it takes. Two or three times, we will let slide! But if you keep pushing that button, I promise you, the only thing you are doing, is providing the rest of us our humor for the day, and perhaps a funny story we can share with our family!

Props To Dora

2008-09-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the ever so wonderful Dora The Explorer and her friend Boots, Monkeyhead has learned to count to ten in spanish!

MH: Hola Mommy, that means hello.

ME: Oh Wow! Where did you learn that from baby? Thats really good.

MH: Dora told me.

ME: Oh, I see. What else has Dora taught you?

MH: Eye dee Os, that means goodbye!

ME: Oh Adios. Thats great!

MH: And I can count Mommy. All the way to diaz!

ME: All the way to ten? Ok, lets hear.

MH: Mundo, Dos, Gleis, Glaco, Cinco, Seis, Siete, Ocho, Nueva, Diaz!!!

ME: (Trying not to burst out in laughter!) Thats great baby girl!

One of these days I will help her get it right. For now, it's just too darn funny!

Mommy On A Diet

2008-09-13T17:17:00.000-07:00

Ok. So its not like I woke up today and realized I am fat. That was so yesterday. Today, after I had Panda Express of Course, I decided I was going to do something about it... Tomorrow.

I did a small stint at the diet thing about 2 years ago. Lost a good 70 pounds. Yeah me!!! Too bad I gained 30 of it back. I know right! What a loser. (No pun intended!). This time however is really going to be different. I have to get healthy. I have a 5 year old daughter, the monkey, who has a busier social schedule than I do, and with activities like softball, swimming, and bike riding, I can hardly keep up. I will be the first to admit, its hard to be fat with an active child. And lets face it, the baby weight excuse wore off years ago.

I am not going to go on some crazy fad lose 25 pounds in 2 day bull shit diet though. Just good old fashion calorie counting, healthy foods, and exercise should do the trick. And I am vowing to stick to it. (Insert insane clown laugh here.)

This should be interesting. I stick to nothing. Wish me luck!!!!